Living with the past.

   The past, people talk about it all the time.  But what really is it?  Whether good or bad, why does our past make or break who we are or who we become?  It's said that my past isn't what it should have been, but how do you decide between whats's said and whats real?
   People talk, but do we really listen, and the people who matter the most to us...why don't we listen to them as well as a complete stranger?  Do we really believe what we are told by our peers? or do we just agree because its what we are taught was right.
   A child should be loved, I was loved.  A child should be cared for, I was cared for.  The basic principles were taken care of, then what happen?  Why was my childhood so bad that I am to be studied?
   I would not be who I am today if it had not been for my childhood.  Although in the same sense, I also would not be where I am today without my childhood.  It's both a positive/negative situation.
   As I sit here and go through both what I know and what was said/taught, I realize that I should have known what was to happen.  My life, as I knew it, was good and understandable but what I didn't know, didn't bother me.  I was content with who I was, because to me I was a good person.  I believed I was as good as I could be at this given time.  A job, a place to live, and furthering my education.  Although with that, I had 3 jobs, now down to 2.  I live in a house not of my own or with parents.  Because I have been on my own for 4 years.  And my education is what I use as a driving factor.  Because without it, I would not want to prove myself to be better than my knowing existence.  "You won't make it," that for the most people shows no faith, but to me, it shows a challenge.  Something I have to do to show everyone that they are wrong.
   How was your childhood?  how do you think you were raised?  Was it right, moral, or even sane?  I thought mine was normal, I didn't know any difference.  It wasn't until now, a sophomore in college, that I realized mine wasn't right.  Do a little research, find some background, because it is better to know, realize now, instead of when your 30 and have 3 kids. Let's try to single this out now, so that we don't let the next generation go through what others did.