The Truth

"Time doesn't wait for anyone.  There is a part in every day when I lie to myself and say that its ok. Cause if I don't, I think I'll go insane.. but the truth is, I only have myself to blame." -The Truth

   I don't know why, but this lyric really speaks to me... I take that back, I do know why.. because I was there and have been, up until two months ago, I was.  It took a while, but I believe that I finally got some of this life thing figured out.  I still don't know what or where I want to end up, but I know who I am and who will be there along the way.  Can you say that about your life? It may seem dumb or even conceded to say that I've got my life figured out.. but isn't life just a guessing game? Trial and error.  You live for the experience you come across. "10% of life is what happens to you, 90% is how you take it." Now does this mean I never have bad days? or come across situations that I always make the right decisions? no.. as I said... life is trial and error.. I have simply agreed to all aspects or walks that I have taken thus far in life and will hopefully continue to do so.
   For example.. Failure has never been an option in my life. Even growing up, I have been expected to fail..  therefor I took that as a challenge and I am a sore loser when it comes to losing a challenge. Some can take this as a positive and others take it as a negative. Oh, my family doesn't believe I can do it so they must be right.. I'll just do what they think and go about my life... Or my way.... Watch me! I have always taken criticism  as a challenge never as a threat. Although because of this, I don't know how take compliments. I become nervous and anxious when complimented. So in this.. there is always a positive and negative to any situation... relating to my most recent post... a "grey" area. So what about you? does Criticism define you? or does it add fuel to your fire? or even better yet.. doe you learn from it and not take it literal, knowing what you are doing is right? I know for me... it lights up my world and is like adding gasoline to a bonfire..

Daddy

     Father, Dad, Daddy, no matter how you say it, it comes out as half of the importance that is suppose to be engraved in our memories as well as our lives.  What about those who have never known a father, or better yet, who have never wanted one.
    In America 20% of White Children are raised without fathers, 28% of Latino, and 57% of African American children.  What is your "daddy" like? Was he the loving, caring male figure he should have been? "It takes a man to be a father..." yes but what if his father wasn't a man? Its been said that when put in tenses or stressful situations our basic instincts kick in... which in most cases, how we were raised. So should he be blamed for acting like his own father/ or lack there of? Even if the perspective young child says "I'll be what my father never was." The only challenge is... to change. Although, does it happen? do they change... Well by the statistics that continue to rise, its a slim chance.  I know as a young girl I was considered a "daddy's girl." I was always by his side. I did everything he did. Although, the older I got, the more I understood the world and how it was suppose to be.... and how my life/relationship wasn't. And I know for a fact, that I am not alone in this thinking... but everyone has to stop and question what is right?  Everyone in this world thinks that they have it all figured out and they have all the answers. "Everyone should just listen to me and the world would be a better place..." yep and every person who just read that quote just shook there head in disagreement.
   So who should we follow if we all can't be right? The government/ President? I Think people want things to be either right or wrong. black and white... but unfortunately they aren't. There is a grey area such as, Are Drugs Wrong? Some say yes because we have been told from day one that they are.  So are Cigarettes bad? is Drinking bad? what about a glass of wine at the dinner table with your meal? hm... so black and white? Yes, It would be easier if things were black and white, but this is life and things don't get to come easy.  What about Abortion? National response is bad... ok what about the 12 year old girl who was raped and is now pregnant? The point I want to stress is that life is grey and you have to make choices considerate to you/ your life/ and your family. So is this an excuse for our fathers? What if they never had a father, or a male role model in their life... It will never make it ok at all, what I'm saying is what if they can't help but go back to what they know or don't know.  Some because they won't get help, they don't know how, or just plain ignorant to the pain they are causing.  I know that I love my father.  Although I hate the decisions that he has made that has affected not only my life but others that he supposedly loves. But I can honestly say that I understand him, and that he may never change, sometimes I just pray he would before its too late.